of freedom(?)

when i was 17, having too much social network account felt so right. blogger, tumblr, twitter, facebook, flavors, spring, you name it. but now, four seems too much and annoying because you have to like keep updating and the need to always have something to say about is rather irritating.

i like it here. i've grown to like it here. no one cares rather you are exist or not. you don't care who's going to read or see or care about what you write. people jump from blog to blog, pass you and don't care anymore. or some may stay but no one rarely talk about it. no one ever talk about what i write in here.

i feel free. completely. or so you may say, puas.

slowly, but surely.

you will get to the point in your life where you will figure out everything.
you will build a family.
you will work for the sake of your family.
things might get a little bit fuck up with people at work and stuff,
but nothing beats staring at his glaring eyes when you talk about how suck your day is.

you will figure out that what you have now is nothing compared to what you will have in the future.
you will learn and experience.
you will understand.
life, yourself.
you will not worry anymore.
you will get to the track.
you will be fine.

live slowly and steadily, but surely.

brace yourself, dear friend.

you will get to the phase where you both will fight over silly things and you will become even more sensitive.

you will get to the phase where she will look at other guys and like them or worse fall in love with them.

you will do the stupidest thing ever and she will leave. because that's how the karma works. slowly, but you will get to it.

of the things i've held inside for so long.

when you were 14, you saw your mom and dad fought over some woman at 2 in the morning. and your mom cried so hard your dad didn't know how to stop her, and you passed them to get to your room to sleep, never bothered to ask why.

you found your dad married to another woman because your mom was crying endlessly days and nights you were worried to death you started searching for clues.

one day, a stranger was invited to a wedding ceremony eating at the same table with your family, talking. your mom started saying twisted words and sarcastically. she hadn't stop crying.

you had sisters and a brother from your other mother.

at 18, you thought you never belong in your family.

at 21, your perspectives had changed drastically differ from your family.

at 23, you've cried so much because of them.