September 29, 2016
September 25, 2016
i wanna clarify on one thing about pregnancy. the other day, i tweeted about it.
i remembered when my other mother bragged about being pregnant when she had a bump that only 2 months old. my mom said, orang zaman sekarang tak ada rasa malu that when she was pregnant, she only told her family about it. i didnt get it at that time.
now it's different. almost everything you want the world to know about it. cakap pasal craving, morning sickness and worse, selfie with your bump. i just dont get it. if you want people's blessings, yeah i'm happy for you. we all get it, you're pregnant. i dont see the point of saying about it all day all night.
some might say i'm definitely jealous about it. excuse fucking me. you should have more common sense in you. grow up, seriously. and think hard. is it worth the tell? arent you ashamed of yourself?
September 21, 2016
it was the night that he got everything he craved for. i was blamed for that because i was mad about things i failed to figure. we were sitting there with our light meal talking about heavy topics like how our hearts felt about almost everything. he's the type of person who rarely talks about his views and opinions. and i was there, happened to listen to his rambles.
it was very comforting i shall say. not because of his stories, instead, of the fact that he tried to utter in every way possible to make me understand each word. it was just the talk. we could not stop. dan kesemua daya upaya yang kita guna to pull each of us to a safest place makes me feel like we're home. maybe this is the healing piece they talked about. it's not much but it's there.
there's so many things i wanna tell, i wanna talk about. but the words just didn't come in a way i expected it to be. maybe some other time, let it be some other time.
September 17, 2016
i used to be so addicted to coffee. it's a choice. i wanted myself to be addicted to it. it's the same as drugs, cigarrettes, alcohol and anything addictive. you have the choice to make it happen. also, to stop it from happen. and so i stop drinking coffee for a while.
i used to think coffee makes me think clearer and faster, that every time i had coffee, i'd write better. good writings lead to a better day. therefore, i'd summed up my day with: good coffee goes along with a good day.
however, it's truly not like that. when i'm writing this, i havent had coffee (yet). coffee gives you this feeling where you feel dependable on it. when you choose to be addicted to it, you know yourself that you want it to own you. therefore, it's not weird when some people would rather not be in relationship but definitely not going through a day without a cup of coffee.
if smoker has a term of social smoker, i own myself a term of social caffeinator, i guess. where you take caffein as a tool to socialize; to get along with people. also, i barely buy myself a coffee. starbucks? about 2-3 times i ever bought myself with. i dont fancy overpriced coffee. i just dont.
so, what's coffee to you then?
September 14, 2016
September 13, 2016
i. remember about the blog i once mentioned on how good it is? i've found it and went to twitter asking into the void of who she is. ya guess, no answer.
ii. i am, without a doubt, the best stalker you can find in the city.
iii. i wonder how it feels like to be a little off sober. like, when you just off a bar and it is one o'clock in the morning and suddenly you felt like wanna get yourself a little bit of ink planted under your skin just below your right collarbone.
iv. heard a story of a guy who went intoxicated when i, myself thought, he's supposed to be an angel. i was so wrong and he's such a cutie.
v. tell me how to surf without getting yourself anxious about what everyone's doing in this cozy yet stressful place.
September 7, 2016
selepas mendengarkan apa yang kak R told me, i said to myself that i don't wanna end up like those people who had to resign because their contract expired. and that they didn't get the offer to renew their contract or turn permanent.
to be really honest, i have already set a new goal. therefore, i need to be here to somehow achieve that goal. sebab finally i can say to myself that this is the career path that i want. untuk menjadi seorang sarah, it's not that easy to have a very high self esteem and confident.
whether it's good or bad it's gonna turn, just pray for good things for me.
September 4, 2016
September 3, 2016
i. you have to pay attention for their dramas.
ii. honestly, it's the most cliche thing you'd heard from a girl who claimed to have more guy friends than girls. seriously, my circle of girl friends dont have so much drama tapi they are mostly too girly, too kind (ok this one is good actually), too cautious, too brainy, too cheapskate.
iii. what else? oh, boyfriends. some would sacrifice a lot of their time to their boyfriend. i wont say 'invest' because they're not even their husband. nak jumpa, bapak susah. unless if it's lepak-time-aku-bawak-boyfriend-sekali-eh kind of meet up.
iv. kita cuba konon nak jadi the cool friend yang gives time to our friends for their lovey dovey shit until we've became the one who rarely gets the time to catch up with everybody else cause they are so busy with their guy. wake up gang, he's not even your husband (yet).
v. dan most of the time, i'm chilling with myself at home every weekend because i'm out of reach during weekdays sebab everyone is out with their boyfriend on weekends. bapak sedih ayat aku.
vi. seeing at the list you can say that i have issues, probably. and i enjoy my time alone, mostly. and i dont have much money for lepak currently. let's see how it goes for the next few weeks/months.
September 1, 2016
i was searching through the web about a post i once read where i have the screenshot of it tapi i cannot reach for it right now. tulisannya sangat bagus. sadly, that's exactly something i'd easily forget.
apa yang aku boleh katakan tentang tulisan tersebut, ia agak melankolik, depress dan serious; of the thing not everyone loves to read about. setiap ayat berkaitan antara satu sama lain dan seterusnya menghasilkan scene yang berkaitan dengan yang lainnya.
i think that's how you should write.
aku terfikirkan semua ini sewaktu aku berjalan pulang ke rumah dari train station sambil mendengar lagu-lagu yang dimainkan dari latest album kumpulan Daughter. it takes about 7 to 12 minutes of walking. i told this to one of my colleagues dan katanya jauh. i dont mind anyway walking a long way everyday. pernah juga terfikir untuk drive all the way to kelana jaya but thinking it'll cost me two times than taking public transport, i'd said nevermind lah.
dan dalam pada masa yang sama juga aku telah memikirkan how actually i should write; tentang bos aku, tentang pengalamannya, tentang thoughts dan nasihat yang diberikan, tentang meeting dan everything in that office. but thoughts are like dedaunan yang ditiup angin. it wont settle at the same place when the wind blows. so that's that. and that's how my day goes by.