February 16, 2017

ps: i'm not playing with anybody's feeling. i felt that too. it just didn't work out.

tulisan aku jarang tentang progress atau big moments dalam kehidupan aku. mostly, tentang perasaan. i always write when i'm practically sad. teringat kata-kata seorang kawan, "tak bosan ke hari-hari sembang cinta?" sebab what i'm gonna further write is also about love. fuck me, right?

i just thought, "i will never able to forgive myself." also i thought, "fuck you for still existing." aku adalah insan yang tenggelam dalam dosa sendiri. dosa yang teramat sangat besar yang pernah beberapa kali aku buat; playing with people's feelings. fuck me, right?

tak faham dengan orang yang boleh go on dengan kehidupan tanpa merasa perlu kembali ke masa silam. i guess they never commit a sin in their life.

if you're reading this, which you'd probably dont habe any idea this is about you, i would like to say, you're not the only one who fucked up. i made mistake. and i fucked up better than you've ever experienced.

February 1, 2017

meraba dalam kegelapan.

insecurities happen to work well in the middle of the night.
and i happen to care, a little bit too much.

kepada hati yang tatkala resah, gelisah, buntu;
tenang.
tenanglah walaupun ia sukar, walaupun ia pahit. kekosongan ini bakal diisi.
fikir yang baik-baik. aku mohon, fikir yang baik-baik.