June 24, 2016

...and what happened was, she finally cried over the things she always wanted to tell him of how much she hated it.

so long. you will be missed.

i'll just pray that i'll pass all subjects.

so i guess this is the end of it.

taktahu nak rasa apa. cukuplah tuhan tahu how much i've been through. aku masih lagi tak memuat naik gambar thesis di mana-mana sosial media. it feels like i did not do it good enough. macam, andai aku tulis caption yang berjela-jela penuh syahdu, it does not fill up what i actually feel about my work. hence, what done is done.

kadang aku rasa, i need to remind myself that it's okay to celebrate. it's done. afterall, it's your effort. fyp dah habis. cukuplah mourn about it. cukuplah trying to prove everyone that you can do it when actually you're just trying hard to prove yourself.

you cannot do it. dah tertulis. let's just pray that you'll pass it, Sarah. have faith.

and be happy. come on, degree life's over. be happy.

June 21, 2016

may Allah ease, everything.

aku fikir, orang yang suka belajar ni mungkin dia fond to exams and grades. like, when you win a war. aku selalu tertanya kenapa. kenapa study? untuk dapatkan ilmu? kalau bekerja, tak dapat ilmu? aku rasa bekerja lagi dapat banyak ilmu. luas dan lebih banyak yang luar daripada bidang. mungkin sebab minat yang mendalam sebab tu seseorang tu sambung belajar. you know, minat yang mendalam untuk strive for 4flat, minat yang mendalam untuk kejar the Ir., Dr., Prof., titles. well, i do not know.

in a parallel universe somehow, i could have not getting into engineering school. instead, i'd be in art school making movies, or taking photographs, or doing some artsy, or examining art prints i don't even know the meaning of it. who would have known kan? i loved that, very much. but the world was not made that easy in people's eyes.

too many things i've gone through this year. tinggal beberapa hari saja lagi. aku harap semuanya berjalan lancar. a new phase of life. goals? i dont have it. short term goals? yeah like what everyone is having now. aku cuma berharap that i won't stop growing. i could not stop growing. please.

June 6, 2016

Woke up to the sound of the city, the smell of morning dust that never fails me, walking along the aisle of dead rooms, I found myself inhaling the odour of fresh washed clothes. Hostel. Thoughts running around my head, I can't stay long in this sinful city. Enough of 2 years of boarding school, and 7 years of university life. But we never knew what life will take us to.

Then, the water is done boiling. I need to make my teh tarik.

May 10, 2014

no, i'm not okay.

esok adalah first paper untuk semester terakhir. dan hari ini adalah satu ramadhan.

aku masih lagi tak dapat nak siapkan fyp.

'kau dah banyak usaha. takkan lah Allah tak tolong kau.' terus bermain dalam kepala. aku harap aku akan terus bersabar. tak pasti berapa liter air mata dah tumpah. kadang kata-kata sv sikit pun tak beri semangat pada aku when i know really his intention is really different.

anyway, i just hope i won't flunk a subject this year. nak grad on time although i dont have a job yet.

sabar. it's ramadhan.