tangan yang menangkap angin. - abah

and to begin with, i have so many things to talk about. i left this blog untouched for two months. i also skipped some part of what really happened in my life. like i went to japan in may but i only wrote about penang trip and i went to kapas island in august and how i can do 50m swimming without stopping for air. these are the things i should write but you know, i spent too much time on twitter and netflix. writing nowadays feels like a shout into the void, quoting the fault in our stars. it feels like a waste of time. i'm really feeling it now. it's not about audience because i've been blogging (microblog) since 2009. i started blogspot in 2010. and up until now, people just stumble upon and move on. so it's like almost everything in this era. we live, we forget and we die. does living have value? it sure has but only last in a very short time. dunia yang cuma persinggahan.

weird day.

back at this blog because i dont wanna draw attention from the people i know in real life. well screw that. anyway have you ever suddenly snapped at a name and broke tears? like heavy tears. it happened today and i dont know why. the word 'abah' flashed and i couldnt stop crying. i got so anxious like something very bad is going to happen so i recited yassin to get myself calm and hoping, really, everyone will be just fine and that they're in god's care. i texted family members but i didnt talk about this. i'm still a little bit anxious but Abah is fine and everyone is now. i hope it's not something bad and that i'm just overthinking it. Abah is in brunei now please pray for him too.