Rambling #5
It's been like, I can't remember, the last time I hold a pencil and actually draw something. Tak, aku tidak takut kalau-kalau aku tak tahu bagaimana nak memulakan a stroke. Sebab I'm fond to the techniques and stuff, just that, the sketching would turn out awkward and dull.
Tapi bukan itu yang bermain di fikiran aku. Bagaimana kalau seorang penulis berhenti menulis? Adakah tulisan dia akan mejadi dull and dead?
Aku tak perlu jawapan. Sebab hasrat yang aku cuba nyatakan, seolah selembar benang yang ditarik panjang lalu ia bersimpul simpul.
I actually have so much in my head, words and letters I can't put it into sentences.
It's weird.
Living the moment.
Maybe, just maybe, laying here and listening to the fray's how to save a life album, is alive.
Maybe, just maybe, crossing legs and think about what to write without even bother what time is it now because it's late for a shower, the invisible wind coming from the fan is just keep on caressing every inch of skin you don't wanna get up.
I need a hug where a cup of coffee lives.
Shortage.
Aku melepaskan ikatan rambut, membuang helaian yang gugur pada getah rambut. Dan aku memandang abah yang dari tadi memerhati, sambil mengangkat kening.
"Rambut gugur." Aku memulakan perbualan.
"Tanda-tanda penuaan." Abah menyahut.
"Haha."
"Well everyone gets old, don't we?" kataku dalam hati.
And the conversation ended there.
Love is.
The problem I'm facing is that I don't remember when I fall, when exactly did I fall, what happens and on what reason? I don't. For a moment there, I know by heart I've fell for this person.
People are counting their months and chasing time when I don't. I remember every single thing that we do, and we have all the conversations with me keep on repeating, "remember that one time," and we laugh about it, or just smile. I like that.
I don't care about those dates that I missed, and being an ignorant partner you've ever met who don't put a single care about not remembering dates. We'll forget all those numbers and days because for once, it will be too much, too many to remember.
I have you in my infinity heart.
Rambling #4.
Lupus.
Salah satu cara untuk melupus kehidupan yang dulu adalah dengan membuang akaun rangkaian sosial kau. Dan menggantikan ia dengan yang baru, dengan menambah rakan-rakan yang baru, sahaja.
You deserve to keep not everyone but, anybody you want, right?
Rambling #3
A Mountain, A Peak nyanyian Bill Ricchini berlagu di telinga aku untuk yang entah keberapa-kalinya. Masa bergerak perlahan. Sitting here, going on internet semenjak masa pejabat bermula, aku mula merasa sesak di dada. Thinking of what this Dr. Kamal's research assistant might say about me. Well he seems like he doesn't bother at all since that everyone is still on their holiday thus making our work, halt, dalam kata mudah, tiada kerja.
This is boring. I need to go to the library, like right now.
Kata sempurna.
Dan bila tiba masanya, kau membaca terlalu banyak, dan kau mencari kepuasan dalam setiap bait yang kau hadam, namun kau masih tak menjumpainya, mungkin kau patut selak balik helaian yang kau dah letak jauh sebelah penjuru, helai yang sempurna tu; kata dari Sang Pencipta.
Buka.
Baca.
Hadam.
Faham.
Ada bahagia disitu. Ada kejayaan dalam tu.
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