Right now, at this very moment, I'm listening to The Script's Science & Faith album and it occurs to me that no one ever really know or has any idea what insides me held. Like things that keep running around my head, like when I judge people without them knowing I'm judging. Like when I really want persons around me to be happy so much that I cry, like when I try the hardest they don't have a single idea that I did. Like when I write, getting so immersed in it, I forget what's the actual purpose I'm writing.
I cried so much before and every month of things I totally forget why the next 3 days.
Jangan persoalkan fitrah wanita kenapa this thing happens, you said. So I started to think of why am I surrounded with people who are so afraid of questioning things out of our culture. Why they have to be so afraid of the sins they made up. I heard they said that only god can judge but I realized they're judging me since I can't remember when.
So I tell myself that it's okay. Start slowly and pray. You'll find the answer someday.